All Good Things...

... Must Come to and End

 So, after three long years, I have completed my last day as a university student… And I’m not exactly screeching joyful cheers from the rooftops.

I always assumed I’d be happy to finally leave the chaos of education. I have never had a break from it. I went straight from school into college, then onto university. I was excited to finally have my freedom. But that’s not what I felt when I walked out of the doors after my final exam. Instead, what I felt was panic.

Tidal waves of panic.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?

My life has been a constant stream of education and I have never left the security of it. Now, all of a sudden, I’m out in that ‘big wide world’ everyone talks about and I have no clue what comes next.  

Three years ago, I stepped out onto the grounds of my new university campus without giving a single thought to the end of that degree. I knew that I wanted a media degree, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with it at the end. I loved film, television production, journalism and photography. I just assumed that three years of doings bits of all of them would suddenly make everything fall into place. Like I would wake up one morning and it would suddenly click.

Except it didn’t. I didn’t just suddenly realise what I wanted to do with my life. And now, after three years of film making and stressful assignments, I’m back where I was at the start. 

Stuck.

I don’t know why I expected university to solve everything for me. I went into it expecting more than what I got. I mean, sure, I learnt a lot about the subjects I was studying, but somehow I just thought I’d learn more about life as well.

You hear all those stories about going to university will create all these opportunities and you’ll ‘find’ yourself. Truth is that it wasn’t as life changing for me as people say it should be. I suppose, in a way, it helped me feel more at peace with myself. Before university I didn't have a ‘place’. I didn't it it. I used to change myself to blend in more with the crowds. But at university, I found friends who I had so much in common with that I didn’t have to change the person I was. So, I guess that’s one positive I can take away.

But what else?

What happens now?

Just hang around until my graduation and hope that I have some big epiphany? Guess I’ll just have to wait and see what fist life throws at me next.