All Good Things...

... Must Come to and End

 So, after three long years, I have completed my last day as a university student… And I’m not exactly screeching joyful cheers from the rooftops.

I always assumed I’d be happy to finally leave the chaos of education. I have never had a break from it. I went straight from school into college, then onto university. I was excited to finally have my freedom. But that’s not what I felt when I walked out of the doors after my final exam. Instead, what I felt was panic.

Tidal waves of panic.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?

My life has been a constant stream of education and I have never left the security of it. Now, all of a sudden, I’m out in that ‘big wide world’ everyone talks about and I have no clue what comes next.  

Three years ago, I stepped out onto the grounds of my new university campus without giving a single thought to the end of that degree. I knew that I wanted a media degree, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with it at the end. I loved film, television production, journalism and photography. I just assumed that three years of doings bits of all of them would suddenly make everything fall into place. Like I would wake up one morning and it would suddenly click.

Except it didn’t. I didn’t just suddenly realise what I wanted to do with my life. And now, after three years of film making and stressful assignments, I’m back where I was at the start. 

Stuck.

I don’t know why I expected university to solve everything for me. I went into it expecting more than what I got. I mean, sure, I learnt a lot about the subjects I was studying, but somehow I just thought I’d learn more about life as well.

You hear all those stories about going to university will create all these opportunities and you’ll ‘find’ yourself. Truth is that it wasn’t as life changing for me as people say it should be. I suppose, in a way, it helped me feel more at peace with myself. Before university I didn't have a ‘place’. I didn't it it. I used to change myself to blend in more with the crowds. But at university, I found friends who I had so much in common with that I didn’t have to change the person I was. So, I guess that’s one positive I can take away.

But what else?

What happens now?

Just hang around until my graduation and hope that I have some big epiphany? Guess I’ll just have to wait and see what fist life throws at me next. 

The Love Story...

...Between me and my umbrella.

Me and umbrellas have an unfair relationship in which they walk all over me and I have no control over the matter.

This ugly relationship started when I began university. I made the decision to commute from home (due to the fact that I'm unable to cook, so moving out would mean starvation) but commuting meant a 30 minute walk from my train station.

In the spring, this walk is awesome and has some really pretty scenery going on. In the winter, this walk is Hell. I don't even get snow in the winter to make the cold look pretty, I just get freezing rain and hailstorms. It's awesome.

To make things even better, I suffer from poor circulation. Yes, at the ripe old age of 20 I'm already suffering from poor circulation. The worst part is my hands. They react badly to the cold. And when I say badly, I mean badly.

My hands decided a few years ago that they would swell up in cold weather. Clearly, my hands love me. Anyway, this 'condition' has become nothing but a joke to my best friend, who constantly refers to me as sausage fingers or Shrek fingers in the winter. Yeah, me and my best friend often insult each other for fun.

So, back to the umbrellas. With that half hour walk ahead of me, I must be prepared for every possible weather situation. This means that I always have an umbrella in my bag.

The minute it starts raining, the umbrella goes up. This is when the horrors begin.

I walk along a main road for a part of my journey. This road never fails to be extra windy. So, basically, my umbrella doesn't stand a chance. Within minutes, my umbrella fails to stay strong and gives in to the wind. Cue dramatic brolly blowing inside out and causing me to look like an idiot. Cue beeps from the cars going past with the passengers inside having a good old laugh at my misfortune.

I've lost count of how many umbrellas have turned against me in the last two years of me being at university. I'm used to it happening by now but today I got an extra special treat.

My latest umbrella broke. Before it had even been opened. As I stepped out of uni and saw the rain, I grabbed my umbrella, went to open it and OH I was left just holding the handle. The whole top part of the useless article had completely broken off. I didn't have a hood on my coat so it was clear that I was going to look like a gorgeous sewer rat by the time I got to the train station.

So 20 minutes into my walk, a lorry starts driving up the road. There is a giant puddle on the road. I didn't realise what Mr Lorry Driver had in mind until it was too late. He went straight through that puddle at full speed and I was left looking like I'd just been for a swim in my clothes.

It's clearly been an awesome day for me.

Did I mention how much I hate umbrellas?

Welcome to Stressville...

... Population: Me

So, my final year at university began this week. I already want to curl up in ball and sleep for 8 months. The amount of work that has to be done before CHRISTMAS is crazy! I'll never understand why some people think students are lazy and have it easy.

The thing with me is that I plan out all my work carefully yet I still end up in a last minute stress-hell a week before the deadline. I'm a perfectionist so I'll keep changing and tweaking until the last minute. It's all very stressful.

Anyway, I went into my first class ready to attack the workload. I was going to be productive and get a good head start on everything. But, of course, this is my life we're talking about. Instead I got caught in horrendous rain (hurrah for British Weather!) and I lost the long and hard battle with my umbrella. So I turned up on my first day back looking like the girl from The Ring. Awesome.

Oh, and just make things even better I caught a cold. Meaning that all those plans to get a head start on work completely vanished due to me being bed-bound with a hot water bottle.

Thanks Life.